SENIOR moments: Random thoughts from the aged….

LAZING AROUND, PONDERING THE PROBLEMS OF THE WORLD, I REALIZED THAT AT MY AGE I DON’T REALLY GIVE A RAT’S ASS ANYMORE.

IF WALKING IS GOOD
FOR YOUR HEALTH, THE POSTMAN WOULD BE IMMORTAL.

A WHALE SWIMS ALL DAY,
ONLY EATS FISH, AND DRINKS WATER, BUT IS STILL FAT.

A RABBIT RUNS AND HOPS AND ONLY LIVES 15 YEARS,
WHILE A TORTOISE DOESN’T RUN AND DOES MOSTLY NOTHING, YET IT LIVES FOR 150 YEARS.

AND THEY TELL US TO EXERCISE?
I DON’T THINK SO.

NOW THAT I’M OLDER, HERE’S WHAT I’VE DISCOVERED:

  • I STARTED OUT WITH NOTHING, AND I STILL HAVE MOST OF IT.
  • MY WILD OATS ARE MOSTLY ENJOYED WITH PRUNES AND ALL-BRAN.
  • FUNNY, I DON’T REMEMBER BEING ABSENT-MINDED.
  • FUNNY, I DON’T REMEMBER BEING ABSENT-MINDED.
  • IF ALL IS NOT LOST, THEN WHERE THE HECK IS IT?
  • IT WAS A WHOLE LOT EASIER TO GET OLDER THAN IT WAS TO GET WISER.
  • SOME DAYS, YOU’RE THE TOP DOG, SOME DAYS YOU’RE THE HYDRANT.
  • I WISH THE BUCK REALLY DID STOP HERE, I SURE COULD USE A FEW OF THEM.
  • KIDS IN THE BACKSEAT CAUSE ACCIDENTS.
  • ACCIDENTS IN THE BACK SEAT CAUSE KIDS.
  • IT IS HARD TO MAKE A COMEBACK WHEN YOU HAVEN’T BEEN ANYWHERE.
  • THE WORLD ONLY BEATS A PATH TO YOUR DOOR WHEN YOU’RE IN THE BATHROOM.
  • IF GOD WANTED ME TO TOUCH MY TOES, HE’D HAVE PUT THEM ON MY KNEES.
  • WHEN I’M FINALLY HOLDING ALL THE RIGHT CARDS, EVERYONE WANTS TO PLAY CHESS.
  • IT IS NOT HARD TO MEET EXPENSES…THEY’RE EVERYWHERE.
  • THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A RUT AND A GRAVE IS THE DEPTH.
  • THESE DAYS, I SPEND A LOT OF TIME THINKING ABOUT THE HEREAFTER. .
  • I GO SOMEWHERE TO GET SOMETHING, AND THEN WONDER WHAT I’M “HERE AFTER“.
  • FUNNY, I DON’T REMEMBER BEING ABSENT-MINDED.
  • IT IS A LOT BETTER TO BE SEEN THAN VIEWED.
  • HAVE I SENT THIS MESSAGE TO YOU BEFORE???…OR DID I GET IT FROM YOU?

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