LAZING AROUND, PONDERING THE PROBLEMS OF THE WORLD, I REALIZED THAT AT MY AGE I DON’T REALLY GIVE A RAT’S ASS ANYMORE.
IF WALKING IS GOOD
FOR YOUR HEALTH, THE POSTMAN WOULD BE IMMORTAL.
A WHALE SWIMS ALL DAY,
ONLY EATS FISH, AND DRINKS WATER, BUT IS STILL FAT.
A RABBIT RUNS AND HOPS AND ONLY LIVES 15 YEARS,
WHILE A TORTOISE DOESN’T RUN AND DOES MOSTLY NOTHING, YET IT LIVES FOR 150 YEARS.
AND THEY TELL US TO EXERCISE?
I DON’T THINK SO.
NOW THAT I’M OLDER, HERE’S WHAT I’VE DISCOVERED:
- I STARTED OUT WITH NOTHING, AND I STILL HAVE MOST OF IT.
- MY WILD OATS ARE MOSTLY ENJOYED WITH PRUNES AND ALL-BRAN.
- FUNNY, I DON’T REMEMBER BEING ABSENT-MINDED.
- FUNNY, I DON’T REMEMBER BEING ABSENT-MINDED.
- IF ALL IS NOT LOST, THEN WHERE THE HECK IS IT?
- IT WAS A WHOLE LOT EASIER TO GET OLDER THAN IT WAS TO GET WISER.
- SOME DAYS, YOU’RE THE TOP DOG, SOME DAYS YOU’RE THE HYDRANT.
- I WISH THE BUCK REALLY DID STOP HERE, I SURE COULD USE A FEW OF THEM.
- KIDS IN THE BACKSEAT CAUSE ACCIDENTS.
- ACCIDENTS IN THE BACK SEAT CAUSE KIDS.
- IT IS HARD TO MAKE A COMEBACK WHEN YOU HAVEN’T BEEN ANYWHERE.
- THE WORLD ONLY BEATS A PATH TO YOUR DOOR WHEN YOU’RE IN THE BATHROOM.
- IF GOD WANTED ME TO TOUCH MY TOES, HE’D HAVE PUT THEM ON MY KNEES.
- WHEN I’M FINALLY HOLDING ALL THE RIGHT CARDS, EVERYONE WANTS TO PLAY CHESS.
- IT IS NOT HARD TO MEET EXPENSES…THEY’RE EVERYWHERE.
- THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A RUT AND A GRAVE IS THE DEPTH.
- THESE DAYS, I SPEND A LOT OF TIME THINKING ABOUT THE HEREAFTER. .
- I GO SOMEWHERE TO GET SOMETHING, AND THEN WONDER WHAT I’M “HERE AFTER“.
- FUNNY, I DON’T REMEMBER BEING ABSENT-MINDED.
- IT IS A LOT BETTER TO BE SEEN THAN VIEWED.
- HAVE I SENT THIS MESSAGE TO YOU BEFORE???…OR DID I GET IT FROM YOU?
