Agreement is not always possible, but combative conflict can be minimized.
- Relationships:
Make sure your expectations are realistic. Consider what makes you happy, how many people you can visit, how much cooking you can do, and how much money you’ll spend on gifts. Contemplate what you want and don’t over promise. Try not to buy in to holiday drama. Just don’t participate. Use relaxation techniques to help you. - Values:
Consider if the holiday season means something to you and why. Take a moment to think about the purpose of the holidays, and what it is you value. Perhaps, it’s an opportunity to reconnect with your religion, your spirituality, or to see your loved ones. - Moods:
Again, manage your expectations. If certain members of your family argue frequently, the holidays may not change things. It’s ok to use distractions or even leave the room. Consider that everyone else is stressed as well, try, and see things from their perspective. - Activities:
Plan the activities that are important to you as well as your obligations. - Structure:
It’s important to keep your regular schedule as best possible. This might help you keep your sense of control. If there are holiday traditions that stress you out, create new ones. Even if it’s “the way we’ve been doing it for years!” - Interests:
Above all, listen to what’s really going on, try to understand others’ concerns, desires, needs, limitations, or fears and search for creative solutions.
In Summary:
Manage your expectations; consider why you are celebrating, think of the other perspective, stick to your regular schedule and finally, search for creative solutions.
Helen Lightstone
The Mediation Lady
