Spring just isn’t near enough for old Rotzy!
Readers Write
In response to our recent coverage/comments on ‘Road Rage’ in the column (*see below) as individual incidents go, regarding the severity and potential consequences and/or fall-out, this one would probably fall into the ‘mild’ category, but Rotzy loved it nonetheless….and more so each tyme I re-read it. Check it out*…”You’ll hit every cone on the highway before I let you in front of me….because YOU saw that sign two miles ago, just like I did!” I’m lovin it!!!
More About ‘Rage’….(*see above)
Two of the things this olde guy finds annoying whilst driving Norm The Truck are ‘tailgaters’ and ‘horn-blowers’, the latter of which seems to happen to me a couple of tymes a week, the former can be avoided by simply not looking in your rear/side-view mirrors. Out of sight, out of mind, right? Not so for the ‘horn-happy’ bunch. Let me explain….Rotzy has never been a ‘hornblower’. Ever. In fact, I DON’T know what part of Norm’s steering wheel to apply pressure to honk his horn. Really. I DO know that Norm’s horn is in working condition because when we moved to Brantford and I had to learn to lock Norm with the remote thingy, I hit the ‘Lock’ button, and Norm goes ‘Beep’. But to actually physically DO it behind the wheel?….well I just don’t know. Nor can I see any reason why I’d need to?! Having said that, it’s clear….and becoming ever clearer to me….not everybody shares my thinking on horns. In fact, the olde guy got BLASTED at twice last week….both tymes by women who apparently didn’t agree with the way I was exiting my parking spot. The first one was at the Woolco Mall (aka Walmart) and her sharp/loud blast pretty much scared the s–t out of me as she flew by in my mirror with nary a trace of slowing down/braking….no idea what she was driving, only that it was a grey blur. I guess she forgot that when I/she/he/everybody are backing up in a jam-packed parking lot, I/she/he/everybody are all basically ‘blind’….regardless of vehicle….until we’re at least half way out of our spot. Anyway, I said ”Have yourself a lovely day M’am”….or something like that. The second horn blaster incident was right here in the parking lot at 555 Harris Place….as I attempted to leave my #58 parking spot early one morning, of course moving VERY slowly….a lady in a big, black late-model Cadillac and that Caddy had a horn on it like a Kenworth. So there I sat, for the second tyme that week wondering if I’d soiled myself. Nope. And as I watched the black burr go by, without a hint of slowing down, being the gentleman that I am I called after her “Have yourself a wonderful day”. Or something like that. Anyway, two blasts in one week are plenty, thank you, but I got past it. You’d think perhaps I should learn how to use Norm’s horn? Or would I be better off perfecting a ‘flip the bird’ gesture? For the tyme being methinks I’m gonna just stick with ”have a nice day”.
In Julius Caesar….
….somebody said ”beware the Ides Of March”….and I remember my grade nine English teacher Mr. Ross saying the Ides was around the middle of March. However, as I write this “F/N” column (Sun Mar 31) nobody at all had called out ”beware the 31st of March” in regard to a major change in the weather, as late as Thurs and Friday the weather people on The Grand/FM were saying ”going out like a lamb”. Well, Mary’s little lamb done got lost, and after getting almost 2 inches of snow, hence we’re back in a winter wonderland. ”Totally unnecessary, and it’s the heck of me” I said (to myself), then added (Hey Toad….wake up!….it’ll all be gone by tomorrow”! Tall boys and tanning on our balcony. Bingo!!
I Ran Out Of Space….
….in this space last week, so I saved this item for this week, about my trip to the zoo. Firstly, if there are animals, wild and/or tame reasonably nearby, you can colour Rotzy there, and that was the case Sat Mar 23rd at the Brantford Convention Centre, which I found was down beside the olde union hall (#458?) where Miz. Jo and I went to a dance 70 or 80 years ago featuring a live band. Anyway, back to the Zoo….me and two hundred kids and their young parents! Firstly it’s not really a Zoo, it’s the Soper Creek Animal Rescue Group….or something like that….formerly the Bowmanville Zoo, where we’d lived for many years….tho not actually IN the Zoo. So….so….there were animals all around the wall of a large room, other displays and a live stage presentation, and just as I paid for my ticket and walked in, a three-toed sloth (Rotzy’s most favourite animal!!) was brought out by the girls, who then told everybody all about sloths. Then an O’Possum, a Bobcat, and cetera. I have no idea how many exhibits there were but I saw ALL of ’em! AND….for the FIRST tyme in almost 74 years, yours truly touched a snake. A REAL, LIVE 5ft long Python….might have been Monty?!….which I somehow mustered up the nerve to even get close to it, after a lifelong fear of anything that crawls on its belly. Hell, I’m not even crazy about worms, but my courage got a BIG boost when the little five-year girl in front of me showed me how to do it, and said ‘it won’t hurt you”. Had a great tyme, tho I’m not so sure Miz. Jo believed me about ”touching Monty 4 or 5 tymes” when I raced home to tell her. This is the week that Ringling Bros Circus Train rolled into Brantford every year and paraded to the park to set up the big top….but that’s another story.
*Thought Of The Day…A cold seat in a public washroom is unpleasant. A warm seat in a public washroom is far worse.
