Rotzy launches the first day os summer with gardening woes, rent laments and road rage rejctions…
Last Week….
yours truly made a sincere/concentrated effort to ”DE-COVID” the entire “F/N” column….or perhaps “UN-COVID” it, if you prefer. Well, if I don’t mind saying so….and I don’t….methinks it was ‘mission accomplished’! Page 4 of the Times-Star in its’ entirety with absolutely nothing referring to coronavirus. Nor its’ ‘strains’. Not done easily as our day by day structure almost (*add a ‘virtually’ here, but only if you wish) revolves around the “C word. Well, Rotzy gave it a shot….the result of which will not gain any Pulitzer interest in the least…..and I really gotta apologize to the readership, because, hey!…. there were a lot more than participles ‘dangling’!! Not to mention a plethora (did I just say ‘plethora’?) of typos….which, combined with the number of words I spell incorrectly ‘on purpose’….’for effect’ I used to tell my ‘mentor’ a couple decades ago, tho he called them ‘gimmicks’. Anyway, this all happened because early Monday ayem (the14th)….when I do my FINAL “F/N” re-read….my ASUS*tm was NOT co-operating and giving Rotzy grief and a headache, which Rotzy never gets. Come to think about it, my ASUS*tm wasn’t very nice to me whilst I was writing Saturday and Sunday either. There ya go…..sorry….OK? And there will little, if any, effort to hide/conceal/avoid The ‘C’ Word this week, OK? However, here is a *Warning that it’ll contain words/items/stuff that require a *R* (*Restricted) notification….such as the next item…..so keep your eyes open….and please keep an open mind.
Now And Then
Then and now. (*R*) Miz. Jo and I had a really good chortle at this one last mid-week! Our son called to announce ”I got my second dose”, at which she managed to stifle it pretty good at the tyme, and replying ”that’s great”, ”wonderful”, or something like that….but we cracked right up when she relayed it to me later! Going mentally from 2021 back a generation or so, say to around 1961. Back when ‘gay’ still meant ‘happy’, of course the word ‘COVID’ and/or the disease itself, didn’t even exist at the tyme, and to my knowledge ‘corona’ was a type of cigar. So….SO….I try as best as I can to imagine a much younger Rotzy coming into the living room while my parents are watching Front Line Challenge (their favourite show) on the 17″ black and white Admiral, clearing my throat to inform them ”I got my second dose”. ”That’s great” my mother muttered as she set her crocheting aside on the arm of the green chair. My Dad quickly retreated to the kitchen to better ‘absorb’ my statement and immediately cracked open, then ‘absorbed’, another Blue….adding his own appraisal (*R*) “Wonderfu! Just #@#@$@% Wonderful”!! What?….’Texas Turtles’ again? Or ‘don’t wait up for the shrimp boats, cause I’m coming home with the crabs”! From 1961 to 2021….”a dose”….what a difference a couple generations make, huh?!
How About Some Good News?
On Zoomer 740AM News last Thursday they aired a clip from a very emotional ICU Head Nurse at Toronto General who was speaking to the staff one year (to the day) after receiving their first coronavirus patient to advise one and all “We are now COVID-FREE””!!! The cheering/whistling/applause from staff added to the emotion in her voice and the veteran newscaster, Jane Brown. who is usually ‘a nail’, had to ‘dig down’ to get back on track. The same type of thing was also announced at other T.O. and area hospitals, where (it is hoped) the worst is over. *Rotzy liked this one too….Kim Jong-un….that affable/laughable ‘peoples’ leader of North Korea is ‘on a diet’ these days. He’s listed at 308 lbs, but methinks that’s being kind to him. Kim that is. Not too be confused with Kim Kardashian, who popped up beside him on Google*tm….what a “F/N” pair!!….but since I’ve mentioned her name, it wouldn’t/couldn’t hurt to point out that Ms K. might wanna drop 10-15 lbs off her enormous butt (without really missing it)….and Kanye wouldn’t care now, would he? But back to the Kim from Korea….some people, or perhaps it was People Magazine*tm, ‘have noticed some weight loss’, tho if you say otherwise, you’re likely gonna ‘disappear’, if you get my drift. Whatever. If he’s serious about improving his health, and probably his appearance too, you think he can find a better barber shoppe? *Seems to me we’re on a bit of a ‘get happy roll’ here so lets give a shout out to Skyline, our kindly keepers/landlords here at #555 for decent looking lawns two weeks in a row now! Holy s–t! Not bad, eh? A bit of ‘other landscaping stuff’ that hasn’t been touched has been worked, even Dorothy Park has some nice little white and purple flowers in bloom. And, like, as if THAT doesn’t blow our collective minds, we get a note under our door on Thursday (which is how our notes/notices always arrive) advising us ”Skyline Living is freezing our rent for 2021”. Imagine. Tell ya what….Skyline Living is many things….but one thing it is not, is ‘dumb’…..and for them to propose an increase of ANY amount (*R*) ‘would take more balls than a canal horse’! You see, overall the ‘level of service(s)’….big things/little things….they provide here isn’t good….and calling it a ‘high-end property’ is a joke amongst a lot of tenants. Example: Miz. Jo and Rotzy have been waiting 3 weeks for a bathroom light bulb to be replaced….ya need a ladder, they have one and they do that chore…s–t, we’ve still got two that work, hence no panic. *Sat noon….actually 12:30PM….so I’ll go and check out our new Hope Garden….Garden Of Hope if you ‘druther. Stay tuned.
We’re Number 58 (*see below)….
….in The Hope Garden….located alongside the parking lot at Hope Christian Reformed Church, and they are thoughtful enough to supply the land, ‘work it up’ annually, measure and mark off the 10’x10′ plots, provide a couple large watering cans with running water and a 100′ heavy-duty hose. All phor phree! I’m not knowing yet if the water comes from the Church, and if it DOES, I’ll assume it’s Holy Water!! Excellent! Just like when we used to draw water from St. Brigid’s Catholic Church in Nakina to water about a dozen boxes which the students had planted. We drew the water from the east side of the building and just more or less figured it to be ‘Holy’….or ‘bless-ed’ if you prefer….hence it was more like ‘baptizing’ the carrots, peas, radishes, cukes, green peppers and what-have-you. Anyway, even tho Hope isn’t Catholic, there’s no reason its water can’t be just as beneficial/healing as St Brigids….at least I ‘HOPE’ that’s the case. You see, as mentioned (*see above), our plot is #58…..the ‘last one’….there are four ‘strips of gardens and #58 is in the fourth, a LONG way from the ‘Holy Water tap! Also, Garden #4 was ‘worked up’/roto-tilled a couple weeks ago and the soil (for lack of a better word) is a mix of sand/grass/chopped weeds and looks like the Texas Panhandle or Okie in 1935. Only thing missing is some tumbleweed.. So….SO….pitter-patter let’s get at ‘er! Rotzy spread a bag and a half of rich, black top soil over it…..and started planting. A dozen cabbage plants/row of spanish onions/ row of peas (Lincoln Homesteader of course/6 hills of cukes and 4 hills of buttercup squash. Methinks I’ll pick up a couple of bags of sheep s–t to ‘work into’ what’s there. Also, since I only was told #58 is mine last Wed, it’s all two, three weeks behind. No sweat….that Christian Reformed Water is gonna work wonders….y’all wait and see!!
Road Rage….Avoided (*see below)
Here’s the scene last Saturday about 2:00 PM, will require a big (*R*)….whilst looking for a new bracelet for Miz Jo’s phit-bit, going to 3 or 4 different stores, all in the same part of north-end Brant’s Ford, OK? I’m going west, pulling up to the lights at Wayne Gretzky Parkway, OK?….newly-painted turn arrows on the pavement for Rotzy and the lane to my right….OK?….the new, bright yellow paint on the road was very clear, OK?….my lane was a ‘left turn’, the lane beside me a ‘right turn’….OK?…..there were NO arrows to indicate ‘straight through’ or the ‘option of straight or turn’….OK? Hey! I was where I was supposed to be, OK? But when our light went green, I went straight; the guy beside me went right; BUT the guy behind him went apes–t, instead of turning right, he gets real heavy onto the gas….and his several horn blasts might have caused me to stain my Fruit Of The Looms! An olde guy in a white BMW 4-door with a lot of chrome, and he’s REALLY screaming at Rotzy….as if his fat head was about to burst….something about ”Your TURN LANE”….as he cut right in front of me, then I (think) I mumbled ‘nice one Dick’….since I didn’t know his real name, and ‘Dick’ is better than ****-head, you think? Turns out I had to go back to the same store again, so when I re-traced my route I ‘double-checked’ the arrows….the scene of the ‘road rage incident’ as it were….and (of course) Rotzy was right. I kicked my own ass for not having tucked Norm The Truck’s right front bumper in The Dick’s Beemer’s left rear end….a la Dale Earnhardt Sr…..and spun the S.O.B. out! A ‘little more pedal’ for Norm and Dick’s pride and joy coulda/woulda been resting on its roof….right atop the ‘right turn arrow’. *Memo to Dick (*see above) Keep your eyes open and on your rear-view, Bub.
*Thought Of The Day…Some days I amaze myself. Other days I put my keys in the fridge.
