Recently, Yuthika U. Girme, Associate Professor, Dept. of Psychology, Simon Fraser University, wrote a commentary in the Toronto Star asking readers to consider the cancellation of Valentine’s Day. [Read the Toronto Star article at “CANCEL“]
This commentary is about as valid or valuable as saying let’s cancel worldwide efforts for PEACE. After all, it isn’t working in the world, or like saying let’s cancel all cars because people die in car accidents.
There is another view to take in opposition to the stand taken by Girme. She is throwing out the baby with the bath water. Throw out Valentine’s and you throw out a special day that is there to remind you about loving someone and acknowledging that person.
What Valentine’s means
Valentine’s is a day to celebrate love or caring for another person. It is a day that reminds us to love someone besides ourselves. It’s a day when we are reminded we love other people and can demonstrate this with a gift.
Girme whines about the billions of dollars spent on Valentine’s gifting. In that light, should we do away with Christmas for the same reason? Birthdays? Anniversaries? Where would we stop?
Cause of anxiety and stress
Girme claims people become stressed about the gift giving with “a lot of pressure on people.” Why feel any pressure? Maybe due to cost? Who says you have to spend lots of money? Who says any money has to be spent? How about just recognizing and acknowledging your Valentine with special words of love, affection or admiration? No one says you have to spend money or give a gift.
Single people are victimized
“Valentine’s Day can also be damaging for single people.” This claim may be true if the single person has security issues and has some kind of skepticism about themselves. There is nothing existentially wrong or bad about being single. Rather there are many constructive reasons why people are single: choice, preference, and dislike of socialization, and opposed to the demands a relationship entails.
On Valentine’s Day, a single person can choose to acknowledge this celebration of love with a Valentine’s gift to themselves, be it a purchased gift, a card, or even just words of love spoken out loud, perhaps to the mirror. These people can love themselves without feelings of anxiety, undervalue, or diminished self-worth.
Generalizations without value
Girme loves making generalizations that may be of questionable value if any at all. “Every day can be Valentine’s Day” has about as much sense or value as saying that every day should be Christmas. We label certain days of celebration to mark the event as special. Making everyday “special” makes no sense.
Valentine’s Day is a special reminder
Valentine’s Day is a special day of reminding, reminding me I love someone besides myself; reminding me to acknowledge that special person that I love; and reminding me I have a special someone that I love, cherish or admire. I admire, love and cherish that person every day but Valentine’s Day is a day where I take a moment to think about it, be reminded about it and pause to give that love a prompt…”I love you!”
